She was smiling patiently."You'll have to get used to it. I'm comfortable, sat like this. It can't be much of a novelty to you!"I shook my head. "Wrong there. You are a complete, absolute miracle of a novelty. Different all over - including your best bits. Fascinating."She looked down. "They look pretty revolting to me. I didn't expect to be all swollen like this. Still," she glanced over at my loins, "your penis is fascinating too. Especially when it can't make up its mind whether to stick up or hang down."A pause for mutual inspection."But, look. Seriously. If I'm going to live with you, when am I going to get any work done? I was planning to work till dinner time and it's that now. Worse still, I feel it won't be long before I quite fancy you again. And you're not going to discourage me, are you? We've just spent an hour making love, including my little snooze - that was nice. Thank you. And I wouldn't have not wanted it - that was quite different from this afternoon - all you in. In that way, I loved only her. It was time to bury Rachel into a wonderful memory.I knew Rachel too well to use her as an excuse not to move on. She would have wanted me to move on and enjoy life. Her whole life, once she got over the trauma of her rape and miscarriage, was a singular pursuit of enjoying herself and satisfying her desires. She had always encouraged me to treat life like that. She’d want me to do that in her absence. She probably would have instructed Kelly to come after me with a net had she met her on her deathbed.I fell asleep knowing that the future would either be pretty good, or bloody amazing.I was shaken awake at about 4:30 in the morning by John. I was, to say the least, a bit startled.“Mom is looking all over for you,” he told me, “Come on, she wants to talk to you.”I followed him back to our cabin.The first thing she said was, “Does John know?”“Yes,” I said, “I accidentally told him. Don’t ask.”“John, stay here,” she said, “Johnny, you are the father of my.
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